"It is what you read when you don't have to that determines what you will be when you can't help it." - Oscar Wilde
Outside is scary, inside is terrifying.
Collin Fitzpatrick did NOT have an easy life. Controlled by a fanatically religious mother, the missing locks on his bathroom and bedroom doors were just some of the small things that had a lasting effect on him. Being gay wasn't remotely up for discussion in his family. Even the thought of being intimate with a guy was completely out of the question. Consequently, Collin is living his life with an unhealthy amount of guilt, shame and anxiety mixed in, and the big crush he has on his straight college roommate, Tanner, doesn't help one bit. Quite the opposite, because after listening to Tannner banging his friend with benefits the whole semester, the one night he gets caught staring? Turns out Tanner isn't as straight as Collin thought he was, and his undesirable thoughts aren't as impossible as he was hoping.
This book surprised me a little. The writing was good, even though some of the dialogue and inner musings seemed a bit forced at times. But it didn't bother me too much. I had more problems with the fact that Tanner slept with his roommate while Collin was right there. I don't care if he thought his roommate was asleep or not. You just don't DO stuff like that. Especially not when you allegedly have a huge crush on the other person sleeping in the bed right beside your own. Just no.
Other than that I enjoyed the story. Collin never had it easy with his family, therefore never really accepted himself or at least got comfortable with his own body. His anxiety and shame burden him in almost every situation, his fear of discovery is almost all-consuming. No wonder that this kind of angst influences the bloossoming relationship with Tanner greatly, and not exactly in a good way.
This was a good, short gfy-ofy story, even though I got a tiny bit annoyed with the "near-death/severe-situation-changed-everything" plotline. It's not a bad formula, but it's been done more times than anyone can count, which si why more often than not it lost its' shine. I can understand it, I can read it and somewhat enjoy it, but in the end, I wish the characters could grow, change and make decisions without life-altering events forcing their hand. But I know that's me, so other readers might not be bothered by it.
All in all a good start of a series and I picked up the second installment out of pure curiosity right after I finished this one.